So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
