Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
