And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
