i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
