New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
