Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The Olympian is in my bed
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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