I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize