once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
