The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
