I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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