I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize