What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
