Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
