Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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