What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
