i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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