Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
