you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i've created a new STD.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
