I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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