this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
