I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
