I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
