Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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