he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
