I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
