physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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