is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
