That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
