Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
