I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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