This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
