Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i will never coherently bang her
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
