Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
