And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
