Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize