I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
