Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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