i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize