hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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