Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize