and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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