youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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