Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
