Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize