My first STD was from a foam party
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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