Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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