i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
