dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
sex in a hospital.. check
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
