Can Purell be used as lube?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
These tits shall not be calmed
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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