Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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