I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
