i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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