new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize