well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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