he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
