Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
