the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
