Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just gift wrapped bread.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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